Not a big deal (9/9/2021)
A mistake is a big deal and surely is a reason to be angry and upset. That is, if someone else made it. If you are responsible, it is nothing to worry about and why don’t we just forget about it. A mistake only counts when you are not the one making it.
Many years ago my boss rushed into the office telling us in a loud tone of voice that an administrative error had caused the company to loose several hundred dollars. “Mistakes like that should not be made”, he said. “We cannot afford it and it is totally unnecessary”. He went on ranting and raving for a while and he wanted me to find out what had happened and who was responsible.
“And?” he asked when I came in to report. He still had this angry tone of voice and I could hardly suppress a smile since I knew what was coming next. “It was you, you did the administration on it and you signed for it as well”.
He glanced at the paperwork, then handed it back to me and said: “Oh well, something like that can happen to anyone”. All of a sudden the error and loss of money was shrugged off as being something very minor.
One day he hit his already sore toe on a chair that was out of place. And while hopping around one foot in agony he yelled: “Who put that chair there?” One of my coworkers quietly replied: “Your wife did”. He turned around and that was the last time we heard of it. If it had been one of us, a long and strong reprimand would have come our way.
My ex-wife took it to the extreme. If I dropped something, it was an act of utter stupidity and practically unforgiveable. When she did it, it wasn’t even worth mentioning. Coming home from work one night she told me casually that she had scraped the side of the car on a rock. And while letting out a sigh of relief I thought: “I’m so glad it wasn’t me”. It didn’t seem to bother her very much, although she loved that car. However, if I had done it I would have never heard the end of it.
My point here is: if an accident or mistake has severe consequences the gravity of it should not depend on who caused it. If it was you, the responsibility is the same as when someone else did it. But for many people accepting responsibility for their actions is a hard thing to do. Almost a lost art, so to speak.
